If you’re a legal adult where you live, you don’t need your mother’s permission to travel, either across the street or across the ocean.

Denial is a quick defensive maneuver. “No, you’re not gay. Your Uncle Rick likes Madonna, too. That doesn’t mean you’re gay.”

When I go to bear clubs, I often get comments like, “Who let the twink in?” and similar negative statements to that effect, and this club was no exception.
A few muscle bears suggested that I was “ruining the appearance and the ‘scene’” of their club…

Let me explain something to you.
There are 5 types of people in the world.
- Leaders
- Followers
- Critics
- Bitchers
- Baldwins

Your situation is a little like what happens when the cabin pressure of a jet airliner changes at 30,000 feet. If the plane starts to drop or a window pops out, oxygen masks drop from the ceiling. You’re instructed to put yours on first, which will afford you the clear-headedness to assist those who can’t do it themselves. It’s the same with you and your buddy.
Once you set priorities and find happiness for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to help your pal on his path to a better life.

Some guys want a man so badly, they turn into clingy, emotionally dependent barnacles. Then, when a qualified candidate for the role of “Mr. Right” comes along, they scare him away by calling or texting him twelve times a day. Or, they flood his office with flowers, teddy bears, and greeting cards; with sentiments like, “It’s our 2 week Anniversary! Happy Anniversary!!!”

Some gay folks, blessed with “the gift” are much better at clearing up the gay/straight question than others. I have buddies who can actually extract the pertinent information within a few minutes of starting a conversation. (The really talented ones often show up later with great stories about a dirty twenty minutes alone in a broom closet or adult bookstore booth with the heterosexual – and, often married – object of their lustful affections.)
God, I really hate those guys.

“I’m one of those guys that no one ever really knows is gay until I tell them; and when I do, it’s usually because I just feel a sick need to enjoy the humor of someone’s jaw dropping to the f-ing floor in complete disbelief.”

We’re all born with a foreskin; many of ours were trimmed off when we were very young, through the process of circumcision.
But, foreskin serves a distinct biological function; it’s designed to protect the head (glans) of the penis, and to retain sensitivity.

If you like to write, and you’re good at it, we’d love to hear from you. We’re looking for talented writers! You can write about love, lust, dating, community, humor, sports, art, hunks in the news, movies or TV… you name it. As long as it’s good, well-written, interesting, and in some way relevant to bears and bear culture in general, we want to hear what you have to say!

One guy called me “darlin’” throughout our date. Another sexy bear I went out with twice drives a huge Ford truck, but it smells like lavender inside. And another guy who I thought might be the bear of my dreams (big, hairy, masculine looking, top, kind of rough in bed, just how I like it) seems addicted to old black and white movies and listens to Broadway musical soundtracks, which I absolutely hate.
Aren’t there any bears who are masculine both on the inside AND outside?

Dear Buck…

It seems that the dating scene is not like it used to be.

Growing older kind of stinks, when you are doing the things you should have done ten years earlier. I suppose I was one of those lucky guys who spent the greater part of his twenties having fun, partying and socializing.

Now that I’m in my thirties (31, to be exact), I find myself in college, working a part-time job, and single. When I do meet gay men, they are usually